To tip or not to tip Tuesday

Ignorance of a culture can get expensive.

 

You’re in Paris. You've researched your trip yet are still confused about tipping etiquette. There were as many opinions on what to do/what not to do as cobblestones on a Montmartre 

 side street.

 

First of all, in France, there are no specific services where tipping is legally required. If you encounter a situation where a tip is demanded, it’s not standard practice and you are not obligated to comply.

For cafés, restaurants and anything to do with food service, and this is the area where most of the confusion lies, it doesn’t operate like in the U.S. where workers rely on tips to make ends meet. Being a server is a profession, and servers are in for the long haul. They’re not students or actors waiting to be discovered, as one older American lady found out during lunch at a Left Bank bistrot. Clasping her hands she said to the waiter, “My, you are handsome! You must be an actor!” to which he sternly replied, “Non! I am a waiter!” clicking his heels.

Paying your bill and walking out without leaving anything extra won’t raise an eyebrow. Tipping in restaurants and cafés or anywhere to do with food/drink isn’t mandatory. In France, servers earn a proper salary, complete with benefits - paid vacation (5 weeks!), all healthcare. It’s hard to fire them and if the establishment changes hands, they can stay on. They return from their August congés well-rested and cheerful, having been able to afford travel to exotic locales - India, North Africa, Cuba, San Francisco.

A 15% service charge is already built into the price of every item at cafés, bars, and restaurants (the famous “service compris”). It might be visible on the menu and/or bill or it might not. It won’t be tacked onto your bill separately.

 

Service compris was in that €400 Michelin tab as well as tiny espresso taken standing at a counter. At café bars, leaving a few “pièces jaunes”  - small yellow coins - is common. It’s called a "pourboire” meaning “to drink,” so at the day's end the server will be able to buy a glass of something.

 

Having said that, some touristy restaurants are now presenting the bill (l'addition) with a “tip line” and digital screens with pre-set tip percentages - 15%, 18%, 20% or 25% along with "custom amount" or "no tip" options U.S.-style - which is counting on customer ignorance. Choosing not to tip won’t earn you The Evil Eye.

 

One tactic at mostly trendy fashion-forward restaurants is when the waitress, hand-picked for her allure, glides straight to the payer (often a man), and breathily purrs, “Did you enjoy zee service?” playing on lingering doubts. If you did, you can simply reply, “Yes!” And if you don’t want to leave anything, you don’t have to.

 

However if you liked the service and found it exceptional, it’s a nice gesture to leave a little something. Many locals don’t; or they round up their bill to the nearest euro. If you still can't shake those feelings of guilt, some leave €5 if they're two, €10 if they're four, and at high-end spots like Michelin-starred restaurants €50, although a modest €2 to €20-tip is fine. As for the tip, cash is preferred. Mais bien sûr, if you feel the service deserves more - especially if you’ve been high-maintenance - don’t hesitate to leave a bit extra.

 

Remember, "good service" means that once you've received your order, your waiter will pretty much leave you alone, not wanting to interrupt your meal. And I like that.- BPJ

 

*** 

 

Adapted from:

Paris and The French: A Unique Culture - Barbara Pasquet James

 

Sweet Saturday

 Today is La Fête des Rois, Feast of the Epiphany or Three Kings, and all over France pâtissiers and boulangers have been working the night shift. Although all "kings' cakes" are similar, every baker has his/her own version.

 Above: this year's homemade galette

 

Francophile Friday: a good life in France

  

The book that started it all.

Recommended holiday reading

Into the weekend with 4 great reads by Janine Marsh, guaranteed to make any Christmas bright 

***

Besides photography enthusiasts my stats show that visitors to this blog include not only the curious but regulars, many of whom have followed me here from my USA Today writing days. Most are Francophiles, those ardent admirers of France and everything French. And while some reside in France, of those who don't some have confessed that they envision themselves pulling up stakes and settling in The Land of The Gauls.

 Well that is exactly what author Janine Marsh, creator/editor of popular online magazine The Good Life France, where I am a contributor, did, not all that long ago, now detailed in a first book, My Good Life in France: In Pursuit of the Rural Dream that shot up to #1 on Amazon shortly after its release, beating out J. K. Rowling at the time.

 It all started on a dreary day with zero expectations - except to find some cheap French wine on a trip to northern France with her husband and father. That trip turned into a true life adventure, and Janine found herself returning to England “a few hours later having put in an offer on a rundown old barn in the rural Seven Valleys area of Pas de Calais.”

Eventually leaving behind both life and livelihood in London, she leapt into unknown territory of what was to become a completely new lifestyle in the French countryside that included a plethora of animals (another revelation), local characters and many other, sometimes perplexing, discoveries.  

The writing is light and keeps the reader turning pages. If you are expecting a "how-we-fixed-up-an-old-barn-and-made-it-liveable" manual, you will be disappointed. It is a story of survival in a culture that turns out to be surprisingly different than anything she knew, often bemusing. This book is evergreen that is, it won’t grow old, especially now, post Covid, as the world has changed and such forays have become the food of fantasy.

Since then three other books, the second two, sequels of sort and equally delightful, have followed:

Toujours La France!: Living The Dream In Rural France 

My Four Seasons in France: A Year of the Good Life in France 

Her fourth and quite recent (October 31, 2023) How To Be French: Eat Drink Dress Travel Love, is a toast to French l'art de vivre and what it means to be French, filled with useful advice, insights and tips à la française. - BPJ 

 

Janine Marsh is a British writer "living in the middle of nowhere rural France, with 72 animals and a husband." - From her Amazon page

 

 

 

Café culture

 

It seems the entire city is under construction as Paris updates its metro system and prepares to host the 2024 Olympics, but that hasn't stopped café regulars.

Update October 28, 2025

The Olympics have come and gone and the city is still undergoing tons of construction.

Fève Friday

 

Would you like a crown with that?

 Above: just-made galettes des rois ready to take home for this evening's Fête des Rois

 

***

 

Reprint from "Feast of kings" 1/6/2019

 Today is the Feast of the Epiphany, or Three Kings Day, and in France it is celebrated with a galette des rois. The tarte-like cakes begin to appear in pâtisserie and boulangerie windows in December and children adore this tradition where the youngest goes under the table and calls out each person's name to receive a slice. Whoever's parte contains the coveted fève - usually a small porcelain figurine of one of the gift-bearing Magi (although there are now many variations, including cartoon characters) - he/she/them will be crowned King or Queen and get to crown his/her/their King or Queen of choice, so every cake is (or should be) sold with two crowns.  

The galettes usually contain crème frangipane, an almond cream, but upscale bakers have been creating away with pistachio cream (my current favorite) and other fillings, trying not to stray too far from the original. I've made my own galettes in the past - it's not difficult - and like to serve the cake warm, heated for a short time in the oven, never micro-waved (quelle horreur!) so its crispness remains intact. And did I mention its classic accord is a cidre doux - or second choice, a bubbly crémant? - BPJ

 

 

Day of the crêpe

Just when you thought the holidays were finally over today is the much-anticipated fête of La Chandeleur in France a.k.a. Candlemas in Anglo-Saxon countries.

The root of fête is "feast," and every holiday (Holy Day) is associated with good food and feasting. On this day, le jour des crêpes packages of ready-made crêpes and boxes of "crêpe mix" have been filling Paris supermarket shelves for days. 

La Chandeleur was a way to use the last of the milled flour from the year before and, some say, the very shape of a crêpe represented the sun, as winter days began to grow lighter. Just two weeks before Mardi Gras - Fat Tuesday - it heralded soon-to-begin Lent, when eating habits were curtailed for four weeks before Easter... and then the feasting cycle began all over again. - BPJ

Above: cidre accompanies savory sarrasin (buckwheat) flour crêpes that precede the more familiar white flour (froment) dessert crêpes. Their "crêpe-ness" - crispness - lies in their lacy crunch, and the Breizh Café gets it right

Perfume me

 

 

"Shall I perfume you?"

In France, perfume is such an integral part of the culture that it’s a verb. 

The offer for a light misting was coming from the exuberant Versailles-born Christian Louis, whose charming shop nestled under a Place des Vosges archway is my personal favorite small Paris parfumerie, worth a visit on its own. With its copper stills and colors of the Côte d'Azur it exudes a feel of bygone days mixed with a touch of a miniature Willy Wonka factory. It is, simply, a realm of beautiful scents, all created by Louis, holder of the prestigious title and position of one of France's rare Master Perfumers. Louis, whose workshop is in Grasse, will carefully scope a newcomer up and down and expertly match one of his creations to their "type" - reciting the ordained perfume's essential essences with passion (“orange peel, black pepper, wild rose, tuberose!”). And he's never wrong.

France has been the Oz of beautiful fragrances for centuries. Its most iconic brands - Guerlain, CHANEL, Nina Ricci, Fragonard, Lancôme, Yves Saint Laurent, Sisley, Hermès, Jean Patou, Miss Dior - are known the world over. Yet every year, a new crop of débutantes enter the market, making the choices seem endless. Where to start? Most find it easier to play it safe and stick to the classics.

 

But Paris affords the luxury of under-the-radar smaller, still exclusive parfumeries that take the time to fix you up with a scent that’s uniquely you. Or help you choose a one-of-a-kind gift. And when you finally settle on The One that will endear you to your loves and loved ones' memories forever, as perfumes tend to do, don't forget to say, "Parfumez-moi!" - BPJ

 

  

Worth discovering:

 

Parfums et Senteurs du Pays Basque

Christian Louis Parfums

18 Place des Vosges 75004

 

 Frédéric Malle


37 rue de Grenelle 75007 

 

Jovoy Parfumier
4 rue de Castiglione 75001
 
Serge Lutens
142 Galerie de Valois 75001

 Annick Goutal

12 Place Saint Sulpice 75006

 

L'Artisan Parfumeur

32 rue du Bourg Tibourg 75004

 

Marie-Antoinette

5 rue d'Ormesson 75004

 

Discover the secrets of perfume making:

 

The Alchemist Atelier

36 rue Étienne Marcel 75002

 

Create your own perfume:

 

Le Studio des Parfums

23 rue du Bourg Tibourg 75004

Flower power

In France, flowers are an integral part of life and in Paris, florists are as numerous as boulangeries. They lift spirits, add color and cheer wherever they appear, and symbolize romance, nature, optimism and the persistence of beauty. - BPJ

School rules

Schools in France reluctantly re-opened on May 11 and so far, into the third week, all seems to be going well.

Above: posted outside elementary schools, "Gestures to retain. To protect me and to protect others!"

You can come out now

France's first-phase déconfinement goes into effect today, but with new rules....

From:

 "HEY! Modern Art & Pop Culture - Act IV" group exhibition

June 2019

 

Halle Saint-Pierre

bookstore / coffee shop / museum / gallery

 2 rue Ronsard 75018

***

They say that for an action to become a habit it has to be repeated at least seven times. When you think about it, the pandemic has managed to alter behaviors in a very short time.

Before leaving home there would be certain items I'd make sure I had on me - keys, cellphone, wallet, navigo (travel) card, sunglasses, small umbrella, lip gloss. Check. With the lockdown the list stayed the same, except added to it was mask, hand gel, filled-out attestation (an app on our phones) stating "acceptable" reasons for being outside and with it, I.D. to prove I was who I said I was - small adjustments that didn't take that much longer, but adjustments nevertheless. Now new habits.

Many became used to télétravail (working from home), discovering it suits them, with some opting to continue. Whittling life down to essentials was easier than thought, not to mention budget friendly. We don't know anyone who got into the very un-French habit of hanging around in a bathrobe all day and, if anything, it seemed people were creating schedules to wring the most out of each day. When it came to food shopping, many Parisians changed their behaviors to take best advantage of their sorties, resorting to bringing along a grocery list - something one usually doesn't see as meals are inspired by what looks good and is in season. Food shops and chain markets remained open, yet most roving markets were forced to close: competing for that last hunk of monkfish or bunch or radishes entails elbowing up to the front of a stall, the antithesis of social distancing.

Shopping carts, caddies and baskets were heaped higher than usual - and not with toilet paper, as pointed out in a previous post: another French food shopping habit altered. Like most, we're used to picking up whatever we need for two, maybe three days at most at a time, and everything we need is within a block or two, which simplifies life. But since the start of the lockdown in March we'd stock up for extra days - en plus some shops had changed their hours and sadly, some had become collateral casualties on the heels of a two-month grève that had already weakened the economy.

Now that this first step of déconfinement has cautiously been set in motion, with it comes mixed feelings of hope and dread. For the past week, beneath the masks more chatting could be heard in what had been eerily silent lines. Or was that simply a result of being confined a bit too long? - BPJ

 

 

Most essential

Not long before our stay-at-home orders became de rigueur I met a friend for a drink on the Left Bank. We got into a conversation about the now legendary toilet paper panic buying in the U.S. and I noted that a friend in Brooklyn informed me that TV therapists have been attempting to explain this behavior. While supermarket chariots in Paris have been fuller than usual, we haven't seen toilet paper hoarding. So I turned to the bartender who'd been listening and asked her, if she could name the one item that the French are stocking up on more than others, what would it be? Without hesitation she said, "Butter." We all laughed and you know something, I agree. You should see our freezer. - BPJ 

Above: a salt-studded hunk of butter from Brittany

 

L'Avant Comptoir de la Terre

3 Carrefour de l'Odéon 75006

That one, please

Though the Feast of the Epiphany falls on January 6, galettes des rois will dominate boulangerie shelves until the end of the month.

Above: in France, galettes, tartes and gâteaux (cakes) are sold according to set portion sizes

We are French

On a shopping bag of a boutique that sells lingerie:

"We are French. We believe in being sexy independent fashionable and optimistic"

***

French women care about how themselves, on their own uncompromising terms. They care about their weight, their skin, their hair, what they eat, and how they present themselves. It is tended to with a quiet, daily devotion. Not for applause, not for Instagram, but for their own sense of bien-être. It's cultural. The self-esteem industry never took root in France. There are no Tony Robbinses booming on about "unblocking potential." One gets on without having to brag, considered vulgar and a true tell of insecurity. One's own accomplishments and possessions are downplayed, almost dismissed. At the core of the endearing French Attitude? Most simply don't care whether they are liked. Or not.

You won't hear, "It's what's inside that counts" because the outside is seen as almost always the manifestation of what's been knocking around on the inside: all those small daily choices and decisions, spanning years, had a cumulative effect.
 
Even women of modest means treat themselves to a special accessory or scent, and in Paris, there are almost as many lingerie shops as there are tabacs. One of my French nieces, a young college student at the time, excused herself early from a family lunch so as not to miss her weekly massage - a nécessité, she explained, despite living on a tight budget.
 
While gym clubs and joggers abound, many find other ways to get in their daily exercise, such as foregoing the elevator and taking the stairs, or walking instead of using métro, car or bus. Cities all over France have become bicycle friendly, and not just to reduce pollution. The sacred August vacances d'été, that great annual purge of stress, is coming to a close, and as everyone shares stories and photos of where they went and what they did, Paris is re-energized. - BPJ

***
 

Adapted from: 

Seduction and the Art of The French Femme

and

Eating French: Why French Women Won't Get Fat   

a.k.a. A French Paradox: The French Non Diet and The Art of Eating for Pleasure - Barbara Pasquet James

  

L'art de vivre

L'art de vivre is a quintessentially French concept. It’s a love of life’s small things and quiet pursuit of beauty, in mind as well as body. It’s taking pleasure in ordinary gestures, whether preparing a cup of tea or selecting the perfect stationery. - BPJ

***

Adapted from:

L'Art de Vivre - Barbara Pasquet James

***

- With a special thanks to Linda Gray, beautiful in every sense of the word -

 

*** 

 

I think everything in life is art. What you do. How you dress. The way you love someone, and how you talk. Your smile and your personality. What you believe in, and all your dreams. The way you drink your tea. How you decorate your home. Or party. Your grocery list. The food you make. How your writing looks. And the way you feel. Life is art. - Actress Helena Bonham Carter

Spirit of Paris

"Paris est une ville magique… "

  

"The occult sciences unite all that cannot be explained. They seek to make visible the invisible, in the broad sense, whether poetic or scientific.... We cannot understand 20th century Europe without knowledge of the occult sciences." - Bertrand Matot, French journalist and author, Paris Occulte

***

Paris’s fascination for the occult spans centuries. Magic and sorcellerie were an accepted part of life in the Middle Ages. Nicolas Flamel, a formidable character in the Harry Potter series whose 15th century house still stands in the Marais district, was not only a philosopher but notably, an alchemist.

In the mid-nineteenth century mysticism went on an unprecedented rampage. Every night in the salons of high society and even the Palace of the Tuileries - where Napoleon III would try to get in touch with his famous uncle - séances (a French term meaning "sessions") were held to communicate with spirits of the departed. These “salons of the occult" were frequented, and helmed, by some of the most glamorous and biggest names of the day in literature, arts, and sciences, all hungry to touch and be touched by the supernatural.

Victor Hugo was a frequent guest at beautiful Madame Delphine de Girardin’s spiritisme salons, while “le spiritisme, la magie et la science du fantastique” exerted a “grande fascination” over Honoré de Balzac.

Driven by a desire for the mystical, the chic and intellectual set of the day flocked to gatherings in search of the au-delà. Years later, Gabriel Garcia Marquez' magical realism, Umberto Eco's esotericism and, in fine arts, surrealism and fantastic realism, were to become undeniable offshoots.

In recently released “Paris Occulte” Matot delves into this fascinating part of French culture and history in the form of an engaging, well-researched and wonderfully illustrated read. - BPJ

Paris Occulte
Author: Bertrand Matot
Publisher: Parigramme
(in French)

Music and gardens

2019 marks the 40th Anniversary of magnificent Les Arts Florissants, an extraordinary musical ensemble led by William Christie and Paul Agnew, and dedicated to baroque in all its forms, but not only...

Above: spring and summer festivals in The Gardens of William Christie

Featuring talented young musicians from the world over and in liaison with the Juilliard School of Music in New York, more than 20 programs of operas and concerts are held in France and throughout Europe - and there's much more.

- See website for this year's programs -
Les Arts Florissants
 Twitter: @lesartsflo

Above photos: Les Arts Florissants

 

William Christie - Musical Director, Founder
Paul Agnew - Associate Musical Director

Below: from press reception held at L'Académie des Beaux-Arts inside the glorious Institut de France

(click photos to enlarge)

Soup's on

From creamy veloutés using winter vegetables to a Vietnamese grilled eggplant hot pot - not to mention my own minestrones (grazie to my Italian Aunt Maria in Rome) and soupe à l'oignon, just ask my French in-laws - there's enough chill left in the air to make soup the hottest thing since the return of bone broth (which, in my family, never went away). - BPJ

[More soups - plus where to find them and recipes - April newsletter]

Plugged in

Café culture and laptops: Compatible - ou pas?

Above: it's closing time and a customer who's been nursing a café crème for hours disconnects his laptop from the café's internet and prepares to leave

Below: due to high turnover most Anglo-run coffee shops and torréfacteurs don't allow laptops on weekends

- The Good Life France Magazine -

  

Season's end

 Today ends the holiday season in France.

Above: decorations in the Marais district last night

A Christmas table

 

 

 In France, the holiday season officially ends January 31st. Until then, decorations and crèches de noël in churches and homes are left up, cartes de voeux sent out, galettes des rois consumed. Wishing shopkeepers and anyone else you run into a Bonne Année won't be considered unusual and, as the month wanes, "It's still January!" ("C'est encore janvier!") might be added. Like now.

Christmas Day with its sumptuous sit-down lunch is bigger than New Year's Day or even La Fête des Rois, January 6th. Celebrated mostly among family, it's an occasion to dust off that wedding gift or heirloom china, crystal, and silver, and when the pre-lunch apéritif is taken into account, it can easily stretch into five hours. At the end of the meal, a digestif (to help digestion, as its name implies) will also get its own glass. - BPJ

Above: multiple courses mean several plates and glasses per setting, w/each course requiring its own wine

See: En famille

***

  - L'art de la table dans la tradition française -

Where to find it:

Marché aux Puces de Saint-Ouen

 
Europe's biggest flea market
rue des Rosiers 93400 Saint-Ouen
[best Saturday or Sunday; try to avoid lunch time 12:30-2:30 p.m.]

Upscale antique shops for glassware, tableware, crystal, silver on

 rue des Saints-Pères

[start at the river and zig-zag up the street until you arrive at rue Jacob]